Let’s face it – the reality, my reality and maybe your’s too. I might sound a bit dry today but actually the topic is very frustrating. There’s no better way to say it: I am on my late 30’s and at this age dating sucks. Most of my charms are almost vanished. My face is blighted with wrinkles and noticeable age spots. My slim waistlines, If I ever had one, have been replaced with a pack of Dunkin doughnuts. So regardless how much I want to consider myself still temporarily, or maybe permanently, untaken/single, my current value in local dating market is like the bankrupt company. The shares are hitting the bottom and – no one would buy it anymore.
But if I am lucky enough then once in blue moon I might find someone who is sincerely curious about me, who still wants to see me through and wants to know who really am I. And that’s only of I get really lucky, someone would ask me out for a coffee or meal, or to have a decent date. This is reality, my reality and maybe your’s too.
During this time of COVID-19, when the city is locked down, when I am staying home all day, and everyday, I was thinking what are those reasons why mature men are unable attract and hold the sincere interest of quality women:
So here is what I so far found out. firstly, it could be my unreasonable and unattainable expectations A critical, judgmental, closed mindset. Regardless how I see myself in a mirror but a closed-minded person would automatically rejects a woman on superficial information for example: Zodiac sign, profession, location, civil status etc. So if somone is a Saggiturius or a Gemini, if she works and an executive assistant or have her own business, If she lives in a over crowded town, or if she is too social, I would discards her without any further consideration. I know how wrong I can be, but it is the reality, my reality.
I am also disappointed about being uncompromising about my “List”. the list of qualities and attributes I expect from my partner. Its because, so far I’ve lived my life enough. I suffered and endured relationship challenges and heart breaks numerous times. I’ve got rid of my self-serving, inconsiderate ex’s. I got rid of my overbearing, abusive partners. I have sacrified the needful for the sake of my children. and so when It’s “me-time” I unintentionally made up that list of must-haves and deal breakers that most or no woman can measure up to. And that’s really sad. Sad in a sense that even if I have the full understanding of the facts, I am still incapable of thowing away that list.
Since, awareness makes us overcome, so if you are in the same category as mine, then here is what I would suggest myself and you to overcome challenges to find the right partner next time. firstly: I have to get rid of my fantasy. Let’s have realistist expecations and let’s give her chance. I never know, I may discover that the perfect woman for me is actually wrapped in a different package than what I have always expected. I’m not saying I must lower my standards. But what I am saying is – let’s stop judging people based on all those superficial information. I don’t have to throw my list but maybe I can modify the must-haves and see how far things can go next time. The Enhanced community quarantine will continue until mid-may and once it’s over, and after that, if ever I am looking at a dating app again, I can possibly flash-back my today’s self realization to have a higher chance to find someone better. Because I still believe – forever does exist. “TGIF” and cheers!
Safin