Today is Fri Dec 31st, 2021. It has been a hack of a month with all the chores in my life. Sleepless days, over dose work load and my often freezing brain – I could not hope I could have some time to write this post today. So earlier I was scrolling my Facebook account and suddenly saw some posts from my lovely daughter. Her throwback photos and I stood still for a moment just to realized once again – she has always been my biggest reason, for all the blooming seasons of my life.
They say having children is terrible for quality of life, arguably—but the truth about what parenthood means for happiness is a lot more complicated in my perspective. So let’s put some lights on my thoughts before 2021 ends.
There are very few choices more important than whether to have children, but it’s doubtless and proven in many occasions: what having kids mean for happiness and ultimate purpose of a person’s life. And, the amazing rewards of having children are different from, and lot deeper than, just happiness – in whatever way we describe our happiness.
At the end of each day, we all will recall being with our children as it has never been any less enjoyable than many other activities, such as watching TV, shopping, or preparing food or grabbing a drink with our friends. I have always felt that the experience in happiness that doesn’t go away for a long time increased since 2011 January. I am sure the only symptom of our happy nest syndrome is our nonstop smiling and it’s when I see our children around or even just virtually online in a post/pic. Yes again : she has always been my biggest reason, for all the blooming seasons of my life.
It’s a neverending argument: Children make some happy and others miserable; the rest fall somewhere in between—it depends, among other factors, on how old you are, whether you are a mother or a father, and where you live. But a deep puzzle remains: Many people would have had happier lives and marriages had they chosen not to have kids—yet they still describe parenthood as the best thing they’ve ever done. Why don’t we regret having children? For me being a father has been the best accomplishment and something I cannot be more proud of. Every single simple memory I have gathered since the pregnancy of my daughter and the delivery day and slowly she growing up as almost a teen occupies the major share of sweet memories I would often think of and smile unknowingly.
So I come to realize: It may not be the happiness we live day to day, but it’s the happiness we think about, the happiness we summon and remember, the stuff that makes up our life-tales. I hope It makes sense LOL.
Have I ever regret of having a kid? That’s a complicated question. Of course it would have been a lot easier to have no kid. Maybe that was not a calculated thing for me and was a unpredictable mistake but trust me when I say this: that’s the only a mistake that I don’t ever regret. The attachment we have to our kids can supersede an overall decrease in our quality of life, and so the love we usually have toward our children means that our choice to bring them into existence has value above and beyond whatever effect they have on our happiness.
When I say that my kids is the best thing I’ve ever happened, I’m not saying that they gave me pleasure in any simple day-to-day sense, and I’m not saying that they were good for my marriage either. I’m talking about something deeper, having to do with satisfaction, purpose, and meaning. It’s not just me I am sure. The more meaningful our lives when we see the kids grow —even though our life was no happier. And still at the end of the day won’t stop reminding myself : she has always been my biggest reason, for all the blooming seasons of my life.
If my post help you get the point I was trying to make would be wonderful accomplishment for my quick writing today. Wishing everyone a happy, healthy and prosperous 2022 ahead.
Safin